Happy Sunday, love bugs!
The title of this blog pretty much sums up my feelings in a nutshell.
Logging into my social media everyday and seeing announcements and pictures of newly engaged couples and newborn babies can be a lovely experience!….until you start to hear your internal clock tick and tock even louder than before.
Then that little obnoxious voice inside your head starts to interrogate you like a noobie cop fresh out of the academy:
“Wow, you went to high school with her! Why aren’t you married yet?!”
“They’ve been together for how many years?! You’ve barely had a decent and normal functioning relationship with a guy since…..never!”
“She just started college a year ago and she’s engaged! When’s your guy coming around?”
Now, I’m not saying by any means that I’m ready for a commitment like that sometime soon. I’m just starting to feel like that kid on the other side of the fence looking in, waiting for an invite into the “Happy Twenty-Somethings Club”. They have someone to come home to, or to share an achievement went, or to just be content with on a Saturday night with cuddled on the couch.
And yes, I am happy right now. I have around two years left in my Undergraduate degree; I’m preparing to get my Masters degree shortly after; I’m finally setting in stone that I want to be a School Counselor. Yes, I’m happy with myself, accomplishment wise. But relationship wise, nowhere close.
Thinking back to when I was little, I’ve always been in love with the concept of Love. Seeing my parents and other couples, I always thought to myself, “That’s gonna be me someday! I’m gonna meet my Prince Charming and everything will be perfect!” Now, I’m starting to get worn out and tired. And I’m pretty sure that guy has gotten lost and broken down on some back road somewhere……
I know I’m only 20, soon to be 21, and I have plenty of time! But for me, I’m an extreme planner. I plan out EVERYTHING! (Trust me, ask my Madre). I make lists and plans for everything imaginable: Shopping for clothes; when I’m taking what class and during what semester/year; Lists of possible Grad schools; Plan A,B,C,D,E,F, etc.
The list can go on forever! But Love, I can’t plan that and it’s driving me nuts!
I have no idea when I’ll meet him or when when things will start rolling. You can’t plan when you fall in Love. If just happens. I think God loves to remind me of that, honestly. It makes me fully trust in Him and wait on His timing. I just wish it would happen already!
And I can already hear the comments, “Oh don’t rush it! It’ll happen so fast!” or “Focus on yourself first!” I’ve been focusing on myself for a good almost 21 years!
I can determine between the good and bad guys, I’ve had that issue enough in the past. So if things could speed up a little, I would much appreciate it! I know he’s out there……somewhere.
Well back to my
procrastination! I mean studies! (yeah sure…..that’s what I meant)
Have a good night, love bugs!