#SorryNotSorry but Only #LoveWins

Sorry for the long break, lovebugs! Just trying to get accustomed to post-grad life. But until I update you guys on what’s going on (hopefully later this week or early next week), here’s a little something that has been on my mind for awhile now, but has become even more prevalent with the latest attack on Orlando. It’s a long one…

Here it goes:

So everyone that knows me knows that I can be extremely outspoken in defense of things that I believe in. And that list tends to grow, but some things have become staples:

1) Everyone deserves respect, no matter their religion, ethnicity, orientation, etc.;

2) Everyone deserves love, again, no matter their religion, ethnicity, orientation, etc.

However, you start to lose my respect when you begin to blame those who are being oppressed or targeted (victims of hate crimes, victims of sexual assault, victims of any crimes in general, the list goes on) because of how they are dressed, how they worship, how they essentially LIVE as a human being.
It is none of your damn business if someone goes out to a bar or a party every night.
It is none of your damn business who someone dates or marries or identifies as.

Here’s a wild thought, guys: WORRY ABOUT YOURSELF!
If you don’t like how someone lives, then don’t worry about them! Go about your own business!


Another thing that angers me is those who claim to love and be a loving individual, but then turn around and use judgmental and/or hateful language to put down the person and justify the horrendous act that happened to them.

“Well if she didn’t dress like that, then she wouldn’t have been attacked.”
“If she wasn’t such a tease….”
“If he actually dated a girl for once….”
“If they didn’t live in sin, they wouldn’t have been killed.”
“This is why homosexuals should turn to God.”

The absurd list goes on and on.

And to those who dare use the Word of God, a God of love, a God of forgiveness, a God of amazing grace, in such a hateful and damning manner. I hope you take a good long look at yourselves. Because we all have sinned and fallen short of His glory. So take that huge plank out of your own eye that can be seen from a mile away and check yourself.

If I upset you, too bad. Go get yourself a pudding cup, a nap, and get over it.

To everyone else, have a wonderful Monday!


New Beginnings

As I sit in my home away from home (The WOLF’s office), everything is starting to hit me. Tomorrow morning, I will leave for Vegas for my first time being at the BEA conference and my first time being on a panel there; a week from now, I will begin packing up my dorm room that I’ve resided in for the last three years; And lastly, two weeks from today, I will finish prepping for my college graduation. I can’t believe in such a short amount of time, this chapter of life will be soon be closed.

Lately, I’ve been having mini crises just about life. For everyone that knows me, you know I highly dislike change. I love having a schedule, having some sort of routine. So I’ve noticed that I have become the Master Procrastinator. And yes, the majority of college students have an A+ in procrastinating, but I’ve gotten constantly worse. When I become like this, it means that I’m prolonging something, and in this case it’s the inevitable: my graduation.

Somehow in my convoluted mind, sleeping or putting off assignments or watching endless amounts of YouTube means that everything else stops. Actually, the complete opposite has happened. All my final “Last” moments have pasted before my eyes.

So as I procrastinate my laundry and packing for Vegas, as small amount of relief has washed over me and now, no matter how much I don’t want to become an adult, life is coming up fast and I’ve gotta put on my big girl undies on and get ready.


Ready or not, here goes nothing!

My Story isn’t Over Yet

Hey lovebugs!

So for this week, since it is Mental Illness Awareness Week, I figured I would tell you guys my story. Well I actually like to think of it as my song since I think of life as one big musical arrangement. Moments of piano and forte, pianissimo and fortissimo, sharps and flats, interludes and times that cause great stress to anyone who is a part of this grand arrangement or watching the performance. But anyways, I’m blabbering so I’ll just get started with my story:

In the past year, I have learned more about myself than I ever thought I could; My ability to overcome, my will to power through some of the hardest things in my life, and my want to actually carry on with my life no matter how hard things get. Long story short, I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Depression a year ago. Last year was probably the hardest one so far and I honestly don’t know how I could have made it through except by the help from my wonderful friends, incredible parents, and my extremely obnoxious loving boyfriend. It was an emotional year to say the least: daily breakdowns, lots of crying and being afraid of life in general, and trying to figure out how to live like this.

I apologize if I just start to blabber. I don’t like being vulnerable. Honestly, comedy is my coping mechanism of choice. If it has to deal with my issues and I can play it off with a joke, than I’m a golden. But talking seriously about this stuff is just a lot harder for me. I originally had this huge post about how anxiety and depression made my past year a living hell to me and a struggle for my loved ones and how I am overcoming. But I started to think “Why let something that has already taken my happiness and joy for the last year have such a main spot in MY blog?!”


So yes, I will definitely say that the past year has been a major struggle on my will power, on my happiness, and on my relationships with my loved ones. And every chapter is important in a book, no matter how much you want to forget it or take it out and rip it into shreds. But how can I continue my story if there is not background to play off of? So from here on out, I won’t let my mental illnesses define me and how I live my life. Yeah it’s a daily struggle and some days are harder than others, but I’m a badass and I can do this!

So when I feel like I can’t go on some days, I think about how many people love me and how many are in my corner. And I smile like a fricking idiot and go on with my day. So Anxiety and Depression can go screw themselves because I have way too many people that are for me. People who don’t treat me like a basket case or who don’t just see my illness. They see me in all of my awkward and amazingness and choose to love me regardless. I have to say I’m a very lucky girl.


To some amazing people:

Stephanie- You helped me keep my sanity (or what was left of it) and were and always are a text or phone call away. You understood me and accepted me for who I was (even when I was wearing my fun pants). I love you and miss you so much! Get your butt back to Carrollton so we can get desserts at Applebee’s!

Gabe- I am forever grateful for meeting an amazing soul like yours. We clicked automatically and you still stuck around even through the many ups, downs, and crying phone calls I made to you. You try your best to understand what I’m going through and even when you can’t, you still hold me and tell me everything is going to be ok. You always encourage me and believe in me more than I believe in myself. I couldn’t have asked or wished for a more amazing guy to be with.

Madre: I saved you for last because you’re a loser! Ok just kidding I love you! But seriously, you’ve been the best mother anyone could ever have. You have given me knowledge that is priceless. You have sacrificed sleep and personal time to just to talk me down or calm me down from situation after situation. You always encourage me and tell me that everything will be ok, that I am not crazy, and that I am so strong. Without you in my life, I honestly don’t know what I would do. I would be a god-awful mess. You’ll always be my best friend.

Ending note:

If any of you guys want to learn more or know about mental illness, go to this website http://www.nami.org/. And if anyone ever needs an ear to listen, feel free to message me on Facebook or hit me up on Twitter. There should be account widgets at the bottom of the page.


Until next week!




I’m Back…..I Promise!

Hello to all my lovebugs out there! It has been far too long!

School and life events had created various road blocks, but I promise that I am back for good! So how about we just start over, ok? Ok.

  • I am Kayla and I’m an alcoholic I am a college Senior! (Don’t mean to offend anyone with the alcohol joke…..just always wanted to say that…..I’m so awkward)
  • I am set to graduate in April of 2016!
  • I am a Psychology Major with a Minor in Mass Communications (and will start my certificate in Social Media Marketing in January….more on that later!)
  • I have been suffering with anxiety for a little over a year now (well officially diagnosed……another post topic to come)
  • I have been a part of The WOLF Internet since I was a mere Freshie and now I am the Social Media Director for almost three years now!
  • I have an amazing boyfriend named Gabriel (I just call him Gabe or Babe…or even Stupid when we love each other sooooo much!) We have been together for 8 months so far with your normal relationship bumps in the road and even some that aren’t normal (that’s another post for another day…or probably after I write this).
  • I really love exclamation points!!

So that is just a VERY brief grouping of words to describe life since the last time I’ve been on last. I promise I’ll actually stick to my once-a-week posting 🙂

Until next time,

Love you lovebugs!


What is a Mother?

Mothers. Webster’s Dictionary defines a “mother” as merely a “female parent” among other definitions. In my opinion, this definition is a load of crap and doesn’t other begin to scratch the surface of what a mother is.

So I would like to introduce my own definition for the word “mother”:

Firstly, a mother is a woman who puts up with you even when she doesn’t have to.

When you are the most ungrateful little brat, she calms you down and still loves you. When you royally screw up on a test or a project at work, she’s there to convince you that it isn’t the end of the world. When you really don’t deserve a mother as great as her, she’s always a phone call or a drive away.

Secondly, a mother is a woman who sacrifices her whole world just to make sure you have what you need.

She does without the nice clothes to make sure you have your supplies on your first day of a new school year. She works overtime to make sure you get that dream dress for your Senior Prom. She puts herself second to make sure her family has all the necessities. She loses sleep just worrying if you’re going to ace that exam you’ve been worrying about all week. She would rather have herself ran ragged if it means that her family is taken care of.

Thirdly, a mother is everything that is lovely and good in life. 

Kind; Caring; Generous; Loving. These are just a few descriptors of what mothers are. Whether they are your biological mom, adoptive mom, or just a mother figure in your life, they all go through the ringer to make sure you are loved! I think mothers should be celebrated on more than just one day a year. If we all learned how to appreciate the great mothers we have (myself included), the world may be a better place.

To my own mother:


I know I can be a tremendous handful around 99.9% of the time. But I do want to let you know that I will be eternally grateful for all that you have done to make sure that I achieve my dreams.


You have been my rock and my best friend for as long as I can rememeber. I will never be able to thank you enough or repay you for all that you have done. From the late night phone calls  of me balling my eyes out, to the ecstatic phone calls of passing my incredibly stupid Geology class, you are always there for me. And even if I end up going crazy from school and you’ll have to have me institutionalized, I’m pretty sure you’ll still be there for me! And always remember,


Love you, Madre!


Happy Mother’s Day!


Engagements and Weddings and Babies….oh my!

Happy Sunday, love bugs!

The title of this blog pretty much sums up my feelings in a nutshell.

Logging into my social media everyday and seeing announcements and pictures of newly engaged couples and newborn babies can be a lovely experience!….until you start to hear your internal clock tick and tock even louder than before.


Then that little obnoxious voice inside your head starts to interrogate you like a noobie cop fresh out of the academy:

“Wow, you went to high school with her! Why aren’t you married yet?!”

“They’ve been together for how many years?! You’ve barely had a decent and normal functioning relationship with a guy since…..never!”

“She just started college a year ago and she’s engaged! When’s your guy coming around?”

Now, I’m not saying by any means that I’m ready for a commitment like that sometime soon. I’m just starting to feel like that kid on the other side of the fence looking in, waiting for an invite into the “Happy Twenty-Somethings Club”. They have someone to come home to, or to share an achievement went, or to just be content with on a Saturday night with cuddled on the couch.


And yes, I am happy right now. I have around two years left in my Undergraduate degree; I’m preparing to get my Masters degree shortly after; I’m finally setting in stone that I want to be a School Counselor. Yes, I’m happy with myself, accomplishment wise.  But relationship wise, nowhere close.

Thinking back to when I was little, I’ve always been in love with the concept of Love. Seeing my parents and other couples, I always thought to myself, “That’s gonna be me someday! I’m gonna meet my Prince Charming and everything will be perfect!” Now, I’m starting to get worn out and tired. And I’m pretty sure that guy has gotten lost and broken down on some back road somewhere……


I know I’m only 20, soon to be 21, and I have plenty of time! But for me, I’m an extreme planner. I plan out EVERYTHING! (Trust me, ask my Madre). I make lists and plans for everything imaginable: Shopping for clothes; when I’m taking what class and during what semester/year; Lists of possible Grad schools; Plan A,B,C,D,E,F, etc.

The list can go on forever! But Love, I can’t plan that and it’s driving me nuts!


I have no idea when I’ll meet him or when when things will start rolling. You can’t plan when you fall in Love. If just happens. I think God loves to remind me of that, honestly. It makes me fully trust in Him and wait on His timing. I just wish it would happen already!

And I can already hear the comments, “Oh don’t rush it! It’ll happen so fast!” or “Focus on yourself first!” I’ve been focusing on myself for a good almost 21 years!

I can determine between the good and bad guys, I’ve had that issue enough in the past. So if things could speed up a little, I would much appreciate it! I know he’s out there……somewhere.


Well back to my procrastination! I mean studies! (yeah sure…..that’s what I meant)

Have a good night, love bugs!

Kayla 🙂

What is Love?

So I’m back! I’m really sorry that it’s been absolutely forever since my last post. But this Spring semester has given me brief moments here and there to hopefully keep up with this (which will be once a week, maybe two at the most, from now on). So forgive me if I miss a week here or there. Anyways……to the post!

As you can see by my title, love is the topic of discussion today. If you look up “love” in the dictionary, as a verb, it’s defined as,

“to feel great affection for (someone) : to feel love for (someone)

: to feel sexual or romantic love for (someone)

: to like or desire (something) very much : to take great pleasure in (something)”

Nowadays, a vast amount of us throw around the word “love” in the way it was not meant to be used. You feel so strongly about something you take pride in or feel so deeply about someone you couldn’t imagine spending another day without them; you wouldn’t imagine putting them on the same level as something so trivial as a new piece of technology or a new bag, would you? No? Well do you say….

  • I LOVE that new book that just came out by her!
  • I’m so in love with this store. It has everything!
  • I love this song!

Not trying to single anyone out! Trust me, I do this all the time too.

But when you say “I love you” or use the word “love”, do you honestly mean what you’re saying? Do you have that true feeling of affection and admiration towards that person? Or is it just something you say just to get it out of the way?

Being on the “outside-looking-in” side of relationships at the moment, I can see, in some instances, this phrase is just thrown around like a Frisbee. It’s like you check it off your list so it looks like you were a good boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife today. I understand everyone is at a different stage in whatever kind of relationship they are in. But if you are at that stage of saying “I love you”, you should really mean it and know the meaning behind what you are saying; the deep meaning. 

In that same definition of “love” I gave earlier, some synonyms are given, such as the following:

  • to appreciate
  • to cherish
  • to treasure
  • to fall for
  • to value
  • to lose one’s heart to (my favorite)

Also, some related words:

  • to delight in
  • to admire
  • to revere
  • to revel in
  • to adore

I know some of those can still scratch the surface and not be as deep as another, but I think you can see where I’m going with this.

By any means, I am not trying to make any couple or pair of friends feel bad about saying “I love you”, because obviously, you guys know more about where you are at in your relationship than I do. My main reason for writing about this and getting it off my chest is to make people more aware of how much you can mean to someone and how great you can make someone feel by just using words.

Saying something so strong and deep as “love” should not be played around with.

I’m sorry for getting a little deep today, but I just really needed to get that off my chest.

So thank you for listening. Have a great day, love bugs.

I Can See the Light at the End of the Tunnel!…..or is it just a train with a bright light?

Hello loves! Sorry I’ve been MIA but I’m trying my best  to keep up with blogging 😛 But today was a very long and tiring today. Didn’t get to bed last night till around 3am working on a research proposal and then had to get up at 7:30am for my 9:30 class……lets just say I’m running on fumes today….

But for some reason, I still had a really good day. I’m not saying that I yawned and whined about being tired around 10000% of the day, but it was still good! My week is almost over, most of my work is already turned in for this week. So I’m just cruising along to Thanksgiving Break! How are y’all doing? I probably should ask that more but I’m just in my own little world right now, so sorry not sorry!

But anyways, sorry my life isn’t crazy exciting or anything, so hopefully it isn’t too boring 😛


Well I’ll let y’all get back to your exciting lives!

Sleepy well, love bugs


Taking a Break for a Moment!

hey guys! Sorry but I’m just taking a quick break from my homework to say hey! Trust me, I will be complaining about these questions tomorrow night on here…..ugh they are ridiculous! 

But I hope y’all are having a fantabulous weekend so far! 

Love you love bugs!


(oh, and here’s a picture of a cute puppy 🙂 )



Baby it’s Cold Outside……

Howdy people of WordPress! I really should consider just posting 3 times a week instead of everyday. I’m too forgetful to actually remember to be awesome once a day on here….I’ll figure it out.

But anyways, I froze to death last night! It was our last football game of the season and my parents came! My mom was like a kid in a college-football-themed candy store! That’s one of our favorite things to do together is watch football. My dad kinda likes sports, but not a whole lot. Either way, it was great! Even if I did freeze to death with layers upon layers of clothes on! But we won, so it was worth it and plus we were super close to the sideline behind our team, which means one thing….super cute football players *insert swoon*

Sadly this weekend is claimed by my lover, named “Stupid Homework”. We’re super close, guys. Like we’re super serious about each other. Psychology, piled on by more Psychology, stuff to catch up on for work, and just a sprig of “Spanish Oral Exam”. Sounds like a great combination to go crazy right?! Thought so….

Well speaking of homework, I guess I should go back to my insane asylum of work….ugh. If anyone feels the Spirit moving them to come rescue me from this torture, then by all means, listen to it!

On that note, I will descend back into my late night of slaving in front of the computer. Feel free to distract me!

Have a great night, love bugs!